Long Lost Lover
by Alone in the Solitude of Texas
Summary: Carlos's dead sweetheart returns from the grave while trying to find Rancho Rivera. When she shows up at the Ponderosa, half dead and bleeding, will she live to explain her secrets?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, I edited this. It sounds a little better now…the main reason I'm doing this is because I'm hoping it will inspire me to finish the rest of it!

Long Lost Lover 

**Chapter One**

"That was great, Hop Sing," Hoss Cartwright said, leaning back in his chair and wiping his mouth on his sleeve. The Cartwright family had just finished another large meal made by the oriental cook.

Adam Cartwright, the eldest of the boys, arched his eyebrows and set his elbows on the table. "Yes, it was. But do you have any idea what it was?"

"Well, no. But it was still great."

The room filled with good-natured laughter as the dishes were cleared from the table that looked small in the large, and somewhat empty, main room of the ranch house. Rain pattered the tin roof and glass windows; faint lightening flashed every now and then.

Ben Cartwright, father of Hoss, Adam, and their little brother Joseph, smiled as Hop Sing stepped up with another delicious surprise.

"Dang it, Hop Sing, a cake too?" Little Joe exclaimed. Hop Sing smiled, set the cake down on the table, and began to slice it.

"You spoil us, Hop Sing. Thank you." Ben said.

"You very welcome, Mr. Cartwright." Hop Sing replied in his broken English, sliding a slice of cake onto Ben's plate. Little Joe held up his plate at the same time as the ranch hand and family friend, Carlos Rivera de Vega, causing them to clank together.

Ben was chuckling along with the rest of the group when a sudden urgent knocking came from the front door the room fell silent, and Ben wondered just who would be knocking on the Ponderosa Ranch's door at that hour, in the rain.

"I will check, see who is." Hop Sing set down a plate in front of Hoss, who happened to be the last served.

Ben nodded, took a bite of the cake, then allowed his eyes to follow Hop Sing.

Hop Sing sort of glided over to the door, opened it and stepped back, ready and willing to greet and welcome a guest, friend or stranger, when a figure dressed in black crashed through the door and landed face-first onto the floor at his feet.

Ben choked on the small bite, Adam and Little Joe jumped, Hoss knocked his plate over, Carlos swallowed wrong, and Hop Sing stared, with his hand still holding the door, at the still form on the floor. The body was silent, head and neck buried in long black hair.

Immediately Hop Sing jerked himself from his daze and knelt beside the person, pushing back the locks of hair to search for a pulse.

The five at the table scrambled out of their chairs and Ben and Adam knelt beside Hop Sing as the others stood around awkwardly.

"Still breathing?" Ben asked and Hop Sing nodded.

"Pa, there's blood on the floor," Little Joe pointed at the growing puddle near the figure's right side.

Ben nodded. "Let's roll 'em over," he instructed. As Hoss shut the front door, Adam helped Ben roll the thin figure over to their back as. With the rather pale face exposed, it was obvious this person was a young woman.

Ben jumped as Carlos gasped, crossed himself in Catholic tradition and dropped to his knees with, "_iMadre de Dios!_" he reached out and brushed her hair back from her face. "_iRaquelita!_"

Adam gave Ben a questioning look, but Ben never saw it. "You know this girl?" Carlos didn't answer as he whispered things in Spanish. Ben finally looked at Hop Sing again. "Is it a bullet wound?"

Hop Sing nodded.

"Let's get her inside. In my room." Ben ordered. He and Adam lifted the limp woman from the floor and walked toward the bedroom. Carlos began to follow, but Hop Sing stopped him at the doorway to the bedroom. "We need water. And towels."

"But…"

"Please."

Carlos gave an anxious sigh and turned on his heel.

Little Joe stared up at Hoss. Hoss just shrugged, knowing what the twelve-year-old was thinking, but it didn't stop the questions from flowing like a waterfall.

"Who is she? Where'd she come from? How'd she get hurt? How does Carlos know her?"

"How would I know any of that, Little Joe?" Hoss asked, throwing his hands in the air. "She just crashed through the door, and I've never seen her before. How would I know who she is?"

"But, why did she come here?"

"Little Joe,"

"But, Hoss, how come? Who is she?" Joe's eyebrows were scrunched together as he pondered. "And how does Carlos know her?"

"Joe, if you should be askin' anybody, it'd be Carlos."

Little Joe nodded. "Good idea." He turned to follow Carlos. Hoss caught him by the shoulder.

"Hold up, I didn't mean now, he's busy. We'll all have to wait for now."

**-PONDEROSA-**

Carlos's heart raced and his hands shook as he carried the freshly drawn water back into the house. He snatched the old towels from the chair he'd set them on. Hoss and Little Joe sat in front of the fireplace, watching him as he stormed into the bedroom

"Thank you, Carlos." Ben took the bucket from him and set it on the floor beside the bed, and Carlos handed the towels to Hop Sing.

"Is there anything I can do, Pa?" Adam asked.

Ben looked at Hop Sing, who shook his head. "No, Adam. Go keep your brothers company."

Adam nodded and headed for the door, giving Carlos a look that said to follow.

Carlos didn't want to leave the room, but he knew his presence wasn't needed. He almost hurt physically as he took a step back, turned, and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

"You know her?" Adam asked, trying to look him in the eye. Little Joe and Hoss glanced up, hoping for answers just as much as Adam.

"Yes, Adam, I do. Or at least, I did know her, years ago." Carlos closed his eyes for a second, then opened them again and took in the sight of the Cartwright brothers staring at him, begging for information.

He sighed. "She lived on _El Rodeo Rancho_, right next to _Rancho Rivera_. She and Isabella were close friends as children." A long line of Rivera De Vega's had once owned Rancho Rivera.

Adam nodded, but Carlos wasn't finished. "When she was eighteen years old, I asked Raquel's father for permission to marry her. The next day her rancho was gone; fire had destroyed everything. As far as anyone knew, no one survived."

**A/N: Okay, edited…sounds a little better. Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: New and improved chapter two!**

Long Lost Lover 

**Chapter Two**

"Then how'd she get out?" Little Joe asked, sitting on the edge of his seat with his legs stretched out, eyes wide.

Carlos stared above the fire at the mantel and shook his head. "I do not know. I have thought her to be dead for so long…"

Adam crossed his arms. "Sounds a lot like what happened to Isabella."

"It is, Adam. Almost exactly what happened to her. But a lamp that was left burning caused the fire at Raquel's rancho. Not soldiers."

"How do you know this?"

"Because no one disliked the Gonzales'. No one held anything against them, and the war did not begin for another three years. It had to be a natural cause." Carlos sighed and looked at the floor. "When I found _mi tio's _home in ruins, I couldn't believe that I had lost not only Raquel to a fire, but my sister too."

Hoss stood up. "So then, how'd she get out?" he repeated the question that Joseph had asked earlier; the question that was on all their minds.

Carlos shrugged, finally making eye contact with someone in the room. "One of the _vaqueros _from our rancho heard in town about the fire. He came back and told us all. Isabella cried for days. I left home for nearly a week."

Little Joe spoke up again. "What did her father say? When you asked to marry her?"

"He had agreed. I was going to ask her the next day, but when I was told about the fire…" Carlos broke off, glancing back at the door to Ben's room.

For the next several hours there was no news. Little Joe fell asleep on a chair, Hoss dozed near the fire, Carlos paced, and Adam watched him.

Hoss straightened in his seat and settled his right ankle on his left knee. "What about Isabella? Shouldn't somebody tell her?"

Adam nodded. "But we might as well wait until morning. By then we'll have something definite to tell her."

Hoss crossed his arms and looked at Little Joe, then glanced up at Carlos.

Carlos continued to pace vigorously. His heart still pounded, and his mind raced with thoughts of what could and might happen. He was full of mixed feelings; glad to find out Raquel was alive after all these years, but scared about the bloodstain by the front door. He wondered about her life. Had she ever married? And just what was she doing here again? Dressed in men's clothes with a bullet in her side, nonetheless. And then there were the all-around questions that everyone was asking themselves: would she even live? And how had she escaped the fire?

Carlos finally stopped pacing and sat down. All at once, Isabella came to mind, and he wondered how he should tell her. She'd been through so much after losing her best friend; the whole ordeal with him leaving her with their aunt and uncle, the place burned to the ground with her the only one to survive, and then her experience coming home alone.

If Raquel didn't make it, what would he tell Isabella? That her dead friend came back from the grave, only to return to it without so much as a word of explanation to anyone? She would think he was crazy. Not to mention how much it would hurt her. Not to mention how much it _was _hurting _him_.

On the other hand, if Raquel was fine, she had a lot of explaining to do. About the fire, why she hadn't come back and told everyone she was fine, and what had happened to her.

Carlos glanced up at the Cartwright brothers. Little Joe still slept soundly in the rocking chair. Hoss, who sat on the bench closest to the fire, seemed to have joined him in slumber. And Adam was lost in thought, but not enough to keep him from looking at the bedroom door every time the slightest noise came from behind it.

**PONDEROSA**

Carlos's right eye slid open, causing him to start at the sight of sunlight. Morning? How had he managed to fall asleep after the commotion of the night before?

Nonetheless, he had, and as he glanced around the room, he found that so had Adam, and Hoss and Little Joe had never awakened. Neither Ben nor Hop Sing was in sight, which meant they were still with Raquel.

That could not be good.

Carlos stood and took a deep breath, only to find his throat was dry. He glanced at the door again, not wanting to leave for the mere sake of water in fear that he'd miss any news. Good news, bad news, he almost didn't care at this point. If there wasn't anything soon, he'd end up crashing the door down.

Finally deciding that if he'd waited all night, he could wait a few more minutes. So he left the house and walked to the well for a drink.

_I am going to miss something. I am going to step back inside, and Ben will be standing there, telling the boys what is happening, and then he will have to repeat it all to me._

Carlos nearly ran back into the house, only to have trouble getting the door open. The minute he did, he laid eyes on Ben, who was standing outside of the bedroom door. Ben had just finished saying something to Adam and Hoss, but with all the banging on the door, Carlos had missed it.

Ben looked at Carlos, and Carlos tried to read his expression. It was nearly impossible, for lack of sleep did not wear well on Ben Cartwright. His eyes were dark and at half-mast as he stood with his hands on his hips.

"Carlos, Adam just told me about you and Raquel. I'm so sorry about what happened."

For a moment Carlos thought Ben was talking about the present moment and panic struck him. "Raquelita…"

Ben let out a sigh that sounded like he had to tell a young boy that his dog had just died. Carlos felt the panic rise to an extreme level, but at the same time, complete devastation sunk deep inside.

**A/N: Review, review, review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Read and Review!**

Long Lost Lover 

Chapter Three

"Carlos, the bullet went right through. Now, she lost a lot of blood, but if she wakes up and starts eating, Hop Sing seems to think she'll be fine." Ben's words made Adam and Hoss smile, but Carlos had hung on to the negative.

"_If _she wakes up?"

Ben sighed again. "There is a slight chance she won't wake up, but Hop Sing is very hopeful, and he believes she will."

Carlos almost went weak in the knees with relief. Hop Sing had been right before. He'd saved Isabella, as well as Margaret Greene, Eli Orowitz, and Ben from Cholera.

"May I see her?" He asked, just as Hop Sing stepped out of the bedroom. Ben looked at the China man for an answer.

"Yes, but don't try to wake her. She need rest. She will wake up when she ready." He nodded and moved aside as Carlos reached for the door.

Ben sat down and leaned back in the chair. With his eyes closed he spoke to the boys. "Did you get out of him how he knew the girl?"

"Yeah, Pa, she was the soon-to-be Mrs. Rivera De Vega." Hoss replied.

Ben leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, eyes wide with surprise. "Really? I never knew…why didn't he mention her before?"

"Because he thought she was dead." Adam said, watching Little Joe as he opened his eyes and glanced around, then looked at Ben. "What happened?"

Ben smiled. "Hop Sing fixed her up. She should be fine." He looked back at Adam. "Why did he think she was dead?"

"There was a fire at her ranch, and they thought no one had survived. Everyone surmised that it was a lamp that set the place in flames." Adam nodded at the look on Ben's face. "Even Carlos said it was a lot like the fire at his aunt and uncle's place."

Ben nodded as well. "And you say she was his fiancé?"

"Well, not quite, Pa." Little Joe said. "Carlos was gonna ask her the day he found out about the fire."

"Oh," Ben immediately thought of Marie. "That's terrible."

Adam nodded and watched as Hop Sing began working on breakfast. "What do you think happened to her, pa?"

"Yeah, how'd she wind up shot?" Hoss asked.

Ben shook his head, catching sight of Hop Sing. "Hop Sing, you don't need to do that."

Hop Sing carried a pot and a ladle over to the fireplace. "No, Mr. Cartwright. It not a problem. I just as hungry as the rest of you."

Ben smiled slightly, then looked back at his boys. "I don't have the slightest idea of how she got shot. She should just be happy that it wasn't with a shotgun."

"Do you know what it was with?" Adam asked as he leaned forward.

"Hop Sing can't tell because the bullet went straight through. But if it had been a shotgun, she'd be dead."

**PONDEROSA**

Carlos quietly shut the door behind him, staring at the still form on the bed.

It had been so long since he'd seen her…so long since he'd thought her to be alive. He was so confused. How could she have survived a fire like that, if her entire family did not?

He got to his knees beside the bed and looked at her.

Whatever she'd been up to the last several years had changed her. She looked older in the face, not so young and innocent. Her cheeks were slightly hollow, as though she hadn't eaten right in awhile.

_She looks so pale. _Carlos slid his hand under the blanket and found her hand. _Raquelita, I've missed you. If you were alive, why didn't you come to me? You hurt me, Raquel. I do not understand why you didn't come back._

He held her right hand with his right, and gently stroked her hair with his left. Tears pricked his eyes at the limpness of her hand.

_Please, Raquelita, wake up for me. Talk to me. I have missed you every day for so many years. You can't come back to me only to leave me again._

**PONDEROSA **

_Think, Raquel, think. What last happened? Where were you? That cannot be as important as where you are now. _

_Something is touching me. But, it's so comfortable here. What am I lying on? It feels like a bed…but that is impossible. _

_I remember something. That man, the lawman, he shot me. Yes, that's right._

_Am I alive? I must be. I can't be in Heaven. This is not how I imagined Hell. Something really is touching me._

It moved! Oh, no, I have been captured. I think I am still wearing my boots…yes, I am. And, good, my gun is still there. If I could just reach down there…but what if whoever has me notices? They will kill me for sure if I try that.

_Perhaps, if I reach down and pull that gun out quickly, I could get the drop on this person. Perhaps…if I'm quick enough…_

**PONDEROSA **

Carlos had bowed his head, half thinking, half praying. He still held Raquel's hand, but now he held it with both of his hands.

Suddenly, Raquel's entire body lurched forward; she pulled something from under the blankets and turned to face him.

There was a handgun, cocked and aimed at his face.

His blood turned cold from the speed of the moment, as well as from the shock of seeing someone half-dead spring up like that.

"Raquel, what are you doing?!"

Her brown and black eyes blazed with fire. Her voice burned with both anger, and pain from her side. "How do you know my name? Who are you and what do you want?"

"Raquel, you must recognize me."

There was a moment of silence as she stared at him. Her eyes suddenly filled with tears as she un-cocked the gun and lowered it. "Carlos," she whispered.

The sound of her voice brought back a million memories as Carlos stepped forward and embraced her as he sat beside her. She cried in his arms for a moment before taking a deep breath and just resting with her head on his shoulder. It had been so long since he'd held her like this…

Finally, Carlos broke the silence. "Raquelita, what happened?"

She pulled back slightly to look at him. "With the fire, you mean?" it wasn't really a question.

He nodded.

Raquel let out a shaky breath. "I snuck out, just after dark. I was so angry with my father; I just could not stay under his roof that night. We had argued again…you know how we could never agree. I ran to the lake and sat by the water's edge, staring at the stars. It felt good to be alone.

"I fell asleep there. When I finally awoke, it was morning, and the anger from the night before was gone. I wanted to talk to _papa _and tell him I was sorry." Once again, tears filled her eyes.

Carlos pulled her to him again, holding her gently.

Raquel took another breath and whispered into his neck. "When I got home, there was nothing but smoldering ruins left. I could not breathe from the shock of it all. I wanted to tell _mi papa _that I hadn't meant what I said. And _mama_, that I loved her. And, Carlos, my brothers; I never said goodbye." She sobbed into his shoulder.

He closed his eyes and just held her. After awhile her crying quieted, and he asked the question that had been in his mind since she'd come through the door. "Raquelita, why did you not come to me?"

Raquel was silent for a moment. When she spoke, her voice was bolder. "Carlos, I was so angry. So upset, so sad. I just had to get away from there. I couldn't look back. All I could think of was all I had lost. What I still had was the farthest from my mind."

"But then why did you take so long to return?"

"A few years after that, I did return. I asked for you until I found you had gone to war. Carlos, when I heard that, I thought for certain you would be killed. So many lost their lives in those battles…and when we lost, _gringos _would murder Mexican soldiers who were coming home." She sighed. "I waited for awhile. Then, I heard that a Carlos Rivera De Vega had been wounded in battle. That is when I left. I felt certain in my heart that you were gone."

Carlos pulled her chin up so he could look at her. "_Mi Raquelita, _I am alive, as are you. We have been given a second chance." He leaned forward, closing his eyes, and kissed her.

**A/N: Okay, that was so sappy that I feel sick to my stomach…I know, sappier things have been written, but that is almost as sappy as it gets for me. REVIEW! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Well, here's chapter four! Read it and Review…and then tell your friends about it!**

**Long Lost Lover**

**Chapter Four**

Ben and Hop Sing were the only ones in the house when Carlos finally came out of the bedroom and shut the door quietly.

Hop Sing poured another cup of coffee and Ben slid it in front of the chair beside him. Carlos ambled over and sat down, seemingly in a bit of a daze.

"Did she wake up at all?" Ben asked.

Carlos nodded and wrapped his fingers around the coffee cup.

"And?"

"She has been through so much. Besides the fire."

"Yes, the fire. How did she escape?" Ben's eyebrows raised.

Carlos sipped on the coffee. "She and her _papa _had an argument and she snuck out of the house. She fell asleep by the lake. When she returned, everything was gone and she was too upset and out of her mind to find me, or anyone else." Carlos sighed and looked at Ben, frustration in his eyes.

"It's incredible that she survived." Ben paused. "And yet so awful about her family." he said sympathetically. "Why didn't she try to find you sooner?"

"She heard of my injuries in the war and thought be to be dead."

Ben nodded, waiting for Carlos to continue. When he didn't, Ben surveyed the younger man.

Carlos had never been a big talker. When a situation occurred, Carlos was always the one in the background, listening and taking everything in. If he had a suggestion, it was either never heard or announced in private.

Now, as Ben watched him, Carlos seemed to be deep in thought, and from his posture, the thoughts seemed to be troubling.

"Carlos?"

Carlos looked up from staring into his coffee.

"Did she tell you how she got shot?"

Carlos shook his head. " No. But, Ben, she seems to have changed so much. When she first awoke, she pulled a gun on me, with complete fire in her eyes, as though she would have shot me if I'd so much as blinked."

Ben's eyes widened as he glanced at Hop Sing. "Really?"

"Yes, Ben, and…" he trailed off, knowing both men were thinking of the way the woman was dressed.

Footsteps pounded on the porch steps as Ben replied. "Are you saying…" he was cut off as Little Joe burst through the door yelling, "Pa! Someone's comin'!"

"Well, who is it, Joseph?"

"I don't know, but Adam said it sorta looked like that Marshall that was lookin' fer Isabella, when she first came back."

Ben opened his mouth to reply, but Carlos lurched from his chair and stepped towards the door in fury.

"Carlos!" Ben stood and grabbed Carlos by the arm. "He can't be here for Isabella. That was settled, remember?"

Carlos didn't reply as he jerked his arm from Ben's grasp and walked out the door.

Ben followed him closely, worried about what he'd do. Hop Sing closed the door behind them, standing on the porch to watch.

Adam walked toward the porch, coming from the horse pasture. Hoss stood in the barn doorway, and Little Joe jumped off the porch to stand near him.

As the horse and rider came closer, Ben's jaw tightened. It was definitely Marshall Collier.

No one in Eagle Station had any particular fondness for Marshall Jake Collier. After his determination to take in Isabella for murder, then trying to take Ben in her place, Collier wasn't on most peoples' good list.

Ben's eyes trailed to the left to look at Carlos, who stood on the porch still, but rigid and ready to move in a heartbeat.

_Oh, great. _Ben stepped off the porch at the same time as Adam. Collier rode up and pulled the bay to a stop. Adam took the reins and the Marshall dismounted.

"Collier, what brings you up this way?" Ben asked, trying to keep his voice even.

"It ain't that greaser's sister, if that's what you're wonderin'." Collier replied, spitting in the dirt as he glanced at Carlos. Ben looked back with a warning, but Carlos didn't move.

Ben turned back to Collier. "Marshall, we're running late this morning. Please get on with it."

Collier scanned the ranch yard, watching each person there as well as looking for something. "I'm trackin' an outlaw. I tracked the horse to the woods back there. But this mornin' the horse tracks ended."

"Well, Marshall, I assure you, no outlaws have been seen on this property today, and neither have their horses." Ben took a breath. "So, if you'll kindly be on your way, I'm sure you'll be able to find him."

"It ain't a him."

"Excuse me?"

Collier rubbed his nose. "It's a woman I'm trackin'. She escaped from prison awhile back…"

Ben forced himself not to look at Carlos. "What was she in for?"

"Murder, robbery, horse stealin', you name it, she did it."

"Well, nonetheless, no one here has seen a woman outlaw around here. So, Marshall, if you'd please excuse us…"

"I got orders to search for her," Collier pulled out a piece of paper from his coat pocket. Ben tried to stay calm. "And this here paper says I've got the right to search your house."

**Sorry guys, I know it's a cliffhanger…but I couldn't think of a better way to end it. Review, and I'll update sooner. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay, ending the cliffy!! Read it and REVIEW!!! **

**Long Lost Lover**

**Chapter Five**

Carlos's breathing increased. His heart pounded, half from anger, half from fear. There was no possible way they could hide Raquel on such short notice. Collier would find her.

This answered a million questions, especially since it was highly unlikely that there was another mysterious woman on the run through the Ponderosa. Carlos's long lost sweetheart was a bandit.

That was why she had been dressed in dark, men's clothing. That's why she'd been injured. And that was why she had had a gun hidden in her boot.

Carlos watched Ben. Surely the man wouldn't allow the Marshall in his home. Then again, what could he do to stop it?

Ben's eyes widened at the Marshall's words, then they narrowed as he stared at the paper. "Let me see that." He snatched it before Collier could say yes or no. He scanned the writing, then looked up, eyes meeting with Adam's over Collier's shoulder.

"See there? I got orders." Collier took the paper and folded, sliding it back into his pocket.

Carlos didn't like the helpless look Ben gave him.

"Well, Collier…I guess there's nothing I can do to stop you." Ben sighed. Collier gave an unpleasant smile and strode toward the front door. Carlos stiffened, and Ben scowled at him, warning him to just let the Marshall get into the house.

Carlos couldn't let this man in the house. He wasn't welcome, he never would be. He'd wanted to hang Isabella, and along the road to capturing her, he'd said awful things about her as well. Carlos wouldn't forget the way Collier had insulted her.

Now, the man was here all over again. And this time, he was after the woman Carlos loved who was Mexican as well. And if all was true, Raquel had no excuses. All the more reason to hang her in Collier's mind.

"Carlos, let the man through. There's nothing we can do about this." Ben ordered in a tone most people wouldn't mess with.

The three Cartwright boys watched, each one a bit on the nervous side. If Carlos lost control, there'd be more than one hanging coming at them.

PONDEROSA 

Raquel's heart pounded. With ears trained to hear a jackrabbit in a thunderstorm, she'd heard every word from the Marshall and Ben, and she knew these could very well be her last moments of freedom.

She knew the Chinese cook was still in the house; she'd heard him walking around, evidently listening as well.

She had to hide. She'd lost this Marshall the day before, but not before he'd managed to get a couple of shots at her. One of which had hit its target.

Raquel could tell by the way he rode and shot that he was a Mexican hater. If she'd been white, he would have hesitated with the shooting. But Marshall Collier didn't have much mercy when it came to tracking Mexican outlaws, even the woman ones.

She had been leaning hard against the bedroom door. The walls were pretty thin, and with her practiced ears, she'd heard it all. And now, as she debated on what to do, she heard the front door open.

Collier was in the house.

PONDEROSA 

Carlos had his jaw clenched and back stiff as Collier walked through the front door. Carlos followed with Ben on his heels, who was determined to keep Carlos and the Marshall apart.

Adam stayed in front of the house, not wanting any part of the struggle that was about to take place. He waved at Hoss when he started for the door.

"It's not going to be pretty." He explained as he looped Collier's horse's reins around the hitching post. "It'd probably be best if we stayed out of the way."

Hoss sighed and nodded, plopping down on the bench that sat on the porch. Little Joe jogged up to the porch as well, then sat on the edge and kicked his feet, but with the way his head was cocked, Adam and Hoss both knew he was listening.

They all heard lots of footsteps, a couple of doors opening and closing, a loud crash, and a yell of, "I said you could search the place, not tear it apart!" from Ben.

Another door opened and there was nothing but silence for a few minutes. Finally, the door closed and there were more footsteps, and a few more noises that sounded like some of the furniture being moved around.

Suddenly the front door opened and Collier stepped out first, then Ben, and then Carlos, who glanced back into the house with a confused look, but he erased it quickly.

Adam raised his eyebrows at Ben, who gave a short shake of his head.

Collier stopped next to his horse, rubbed the back of his neck, then glanced at the barn. He stared at it for a moment, then nodded to himself and began in that direction.

Ben followed him, but Carlos stayed on the porch.

As soon as Collier disappeared inside the barn, Adam looked at Carlos. "She wasn't in there?"

Carlos shrugged. "The bed was made and there was no sign of her. I do not know what happened to her."

Little Joe's face portrayed what they were all thinking: how the heck did that work?

Collier and Ben returned from the barn. Alone. Collier shook his head and untied his horse. "Well, I was wrong…this time. She ain't here, but I'll still find her. Good day now." He swung into the saddle and trotted his horse in the direction of the woods.

Adam looked at Ben. "Where is she?"

"I have no idea." Ben turned back to the front door and went inside with everyone else following him. Hop Sing stood next to the table, looking just as bewildered as the rest of them.

Ben walked to his bedroom door and opened it. He and Carlos stepped inside, while the boys stood in the doorway. One quick look would tell you that she wasn't in the room, unless she was under the bed. And if Collier had searched the room, she wasn't under the bed.

The window suddenly slid open from the outside, causing them all to stare at it with rather surprised expressions.

Raquel, wounds and all, pulled herself up and through the window, turned, slammed it shut, then faced them and leaned against it with a triumphant smile.

Questions exploded from everyone, and even Ben slipped and asked, "How did you do that?"

However, Raquel was as white as a sheet and breathing hard. As she took a step forward, her legs gave out and she would have fallen if Carlos had reached out to catch her.

Ben waved a hand at the boys. "We'll ask questions later. Right now, she needs to rest. Let's get to work and make sure Collier doesn't come back."

**Please review…I hate people who don't review. And do you know what I do to people I hate? Don't stick around to find out. Hit the button!**


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Next chapter! Long Lost Lover 

**Chapter Six**

Carlos was up early the next morning, and just as Hop Sing started breakfast, he came inside from feeding the animals and strode towards Raquel's room. He knew she'd still be sleeping, but when she awoke, he needed to talk to her.

He shut the door quietly behind him and looked at her, asleep on the bed. She looked better already; some of the color had returned to her face. She also looked relaxed while she slept, and Carlos wasn't about to wake her, not after what had happened the last time she'd awoken suddenly.

He quietly picked up a chair that was set against the wall and placed it, backwards, about a foot and a half from the bed. He straddled it and rested his arms on the back of it as he watched her.

He wasn't sure how to bring up the whole subject of the day before. He didn't want it to be true, - he still hoped it wasn't – but he knew there was no other explanation. Still, he wanted to hear Raquel's side of the story.

Something banged in the kitchen, and Carlos flinched. He listened as Little Joe apologized to Hop Sing about something or other. These walls really were paper-thin.

He looked down at Raquel as she blinked and looked at him with a smile.

"_Buenos dias,_" she greeted him, and he wished he could return the smile.

"Raquel, we need to talk about yesterday."

She frowned as she carefully sat up, but she didn't say anything. She just watched him.

"Why was he looking for you?" He paused, waiting for her to reply. She didn't, she only dropped her gaze. "Raquel, are the things he told us true?"

Raquel glanced in the other direction, but this time she replied. "Some of it is."

"Some of it?"

"Most of it." she sighed and looked back at him. "I am sorry. I wish you hadn't learned of it this way."

Carlos was slightly irritated at her for putting her answers off. "Raquel, I need to know the truth. As do the Cartwrights…we have the right to know."

She nodded and sighed again. "Alright, I will tell you. It started right after the fire. I was so angry, so enraged, Carlos. I had to take it out on someone besides myself. I traveled south and started stealing things…first it was just to survive; I took food from stores, and money from people's pockets. But when I was not getting caught, I decided that I deserved more.

"I stole a horse and continued southeast, towards Texas. I was in a town near Santa Fe one night when I heard shooting from an alleyway. When a large man ran from the shadows, I went to investigate. Lying in the middle of the alley was a dead man, and in his right hand was a pistol. I decided that I needed it more than he did, and that he would not miss it. So now I was armed, but it only took seconds for me to find out that the gun was empty.

"So I searched the man over until I found some ammunition in his coat pocket. In the box of bullets there was also a twenty dollar gold piece, which I quickly relieved him of." Raquel took a deep breath and looked away from Carlos's disapproving stare.

"The next morning I went to the town's clothing store and bought some men's clothes, claiming they were for my husband. Then, dressed in those clothes with my hair in the hat, I went to the livery stable and sold the horse I had stolen. Then, I set my eyes on the General store and the six bay horses tied in front of it.

"Yes, I robbed the General store and stole the first horse I saw when I ran back outside. I galloped that horse until he could barely stand. Only then did I stop. I didn't sleep at all; every sound I heard I thought was a Marshal there to hang me.

"But either no one came after me, or I had lost them entirely. So…when I got to Texas, I tried it again. And it worked." Raquel looked up at him, but once again had to look away. "By that time I figured that I had tried my luck for awhile. I hid in a shack in Texas for nearly a month before I moved on.

"And I continued on like that for the last few years." She finally looked him in the eyes and didn't look away. She reached up and placed her hand on his arm. "Carlos, please don't be angry with me…I'm not proud of what I've done. I'm trying to change."

Carlos resisted the urge to push her hand away. "You are not finished."

She looked down and removed her hand. "No, I am not. The time I returned, looking for you, I could not find Isabella either. She wasn't at Rancho Rivera, so I assumed her to be either with family, or dead. About a year ago, I decided to find out what had happened to her. I was in Mexico at the time, so I began for home. Although…I suppose it is not home anymore. However, somewhere in the Arizona Territory, I discovered that someone was following me. I managed to get him off my trail, but I had to head back to Mexico to do that. When I began again, it was not until nearly a week ago that I realized someone was following me again. I think it was the same person as the first time.

"About six hours before I came upon the Ponderosa, he caught up to me. I recognized Marshall Collier because we had met before, in Texas. He held a gun on me and told me that he was going to take me back to Texas, but I managed to knock the gun from his hand and get on my horse. Minutes later he shot the horse out from under me, and we began to shoot at each other for a little while. When his fifth shot landed in my side, I spooked his horse with my last two shots by spraying dirt in his face. This delayed him long enough for me to escape. And then, well, I came here by chance. In the dark and all, I at first thought that I'd found Rancho Rivera."

Both Carlos and Raquel were silent for awhile after that. Carlos couldn't believe what she had just told him. The woman he had loved was an outlaw.

Raquel stared off towards the wall again as she spoke. "I know that is not what you wanted to hear, Carlos, but it is the truth. I could not lie to you and tell you that Collier was after me for the wrong reasons. I am sorry."

Carlos couldn't help but think that her tone seemed to be asking for pity. She'd deceived him, and now she was asking him to pity her? He couldn't do that. "Raquel, you have changed." He said, as he stood.

She looked up at him with a bit of surprise. "I know I have, Carlos, but seeing you alive…you've got to believe me!" Raquel pleaded as Carlos walked to the door. "Please, Carlos, I love you…I cannot change the past, but I can change the future!" but her words fell on deaf ears as Carlos stormed out of the room, through the kitchen, past the looks of the entire Cartwright family, and out the front door.

He still couldn't believe what Raquel had told him. How could she have done so much wrong? How many people had she killed in the process of taking money that didn't even belong to her?

Then again, did it really matter at this point? What had been done was done; there was no way to fix it now. But that seemed worse; should she get what was coming to her or should she be spared?

Carlos paced back and forth in the barn. That was what he couldn't figure out. She had said herself that she'd done things that were illegal…she wouldn't lie about that. Not to him. So that meant that she deserved government punishment and that meant turning her over to Collier.

But Carlos didn't want to do that to her.

Despite what he told himself, he loved her, and nothing could change that.

**PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAASE Review!!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: read and review!**

**Long Lost Lover**

**Chapter Seven**

Little Joe knocked on the bedroom door. A distracted, "Come in," came through the rough wood, and he pushed it open to step inside. Raquel was sitting up and staring off towards the window that she had escaped out of the day before.

"Miss Raquel, how're you feelin'?

She turned to look at him and she seemed to focus on the present as she smiled. "I am feeling just fine, thank you young man."

Little Joe blushed a little. When any pretty lady gave him a compliment of any kind he blushed. "Can I ask you somethin'?"

She seemed hesitant, but she nodded and pointed to the chair beside the bed. "Yes, of course. Come and sit down."

He walked over and the let the door shut on it's own. Then he turned the chair around and sat down. Raquel smiled at him again and asked, "What do you want to ask me?"

"How'd you hide from Collier yesterday? I know you snuck out the window, but how come he didn't see you when he looked inside the barn?"

Raquel gave a sly grin and glanced toward the window again. "It was simple. I just stayed where he was not looking."

"I don't get it."

"You see, I heard him ride up. I knew he would come into the house, so I slid out the window and stood at the back of the house. When I heard him walk inside, I ran to the back door of the barn and hid just inside the door. I could see the house if I looked around the doorway, and I could hear almost everything as well. When Collier came back out of the house, I stood behind the barn until he was inside. Then I ran back behind the house. When he left and the rest of you came back in here, I opened the window and came back in."

Little Joe smiled. The plan was simple, and yet it had outsmarted Collier. Although it wouldn't take much to do that.

He was quiet for a minute, and then he decided to ask the question that had been on his mind since she'd come through the door. "How come you were all dressed up like a man?"

Raquel wasn't surprised by the question; that was obvious. She sighed. "Well, uh," she paused and shook her head. She had to come right out with it. "Well, you know all the things that Collier said about me?"

Little Joe nodded.

"Most of it was true."

His eyes widened. "You mean you're really a murderin' horse thief?"

Raquel laughed. She had never gotten a reaction quite like that. "When you put it that way it sounds horrible, doesn't it?"

He nodded again and she smiled and cocked her head. "Little Joe, you have to understand something. When my family died, I was angry. I was so angry, that I had to do something about it. Now what I did was not the right thing to do, but I can't change that now."

Little Joe stood up. "I understand, Miss Raquel. I need to go help pa."

"All right." The word barely left her lips before he was gone. She wondered if it had been a mistake to tell him that. No doubt he would tell his father.

Carlos had explained everything about the Ponderosa to her when she'd woken up, about righteous Ben Cartwright and his wonderful boys. The look in Carlos's eyes had been somewhere around envy, pride, and respect as he spoke of the man who had helped him turn his life around.

Raquel had only talked to Ben briefly, but she could tell that Carlos was right. She couldn't help but think that Ben would do whatever Carlos thought was the right thing to do about her. The only problem was Raquel wasn't yet sure what Carlos thought was right.

PONDEROSA 

Adam pulled his horse to a stop in front of the large, Mexican-crafted barn and dismounted, handing the reins to the vaquero whom came to hold the animal.

No one had sent him to do this, but he felt he had to. Isabella had the right to know that her friend was alive.

Adam stepped onto the porch of the Greene Ranch. All 1000 acres used to be Rivera land, but after the war, Luther Green had bought it for his family.

Just as Adam raised a hand to knock on the door it opened. "Hey, Adam," Tess Greene smiled as she greeted him. Adam removed his hat. "Hello Tess. I've got something important to tell Isabella."

Tess nodded and stepped back so he could enter the large house. "Come on in and I'll go get her for you." Adam walked inside and Tess closed the door behind him.

She followed him into the living room. "I'll be right back."

He nodded and fiddled with his hat as he tried to decide how to break it to her. It really wasn't bad news, but it sure would be shocking.

Footsteps caused him to look up at the doorway that Tess had disappeared through. Isabella stood there with a brilliant smile on her face. "Hello, Adam! I have not seen you for some time."

"Hey, Isabella." The sight of her made him forget what he'd come for momentarily. She stepped into the room and watched him.

"I, uh, well…" he broke off and laughed to break the ice. "Well, has Carlos come to see you recently?"

"No, I have not seen him since we had supper at your house last week." She cocked her head. "Is something wrong, Adam?"

"No, it's not that…it's just, well, we had a surprise visitor the other day." And with that, he explained about the strange woman who had crashed through the door, bled on their floor, and then pulled a gun on Carlos.

She gasped. "Why did she do that?"

"She didn't know where she was or who was with her." Adam paused. "Isabella, Carlos knew who she was."

Isabella's eyebrows raised. Adam knew what she was thinking; If Carlos knew this woman, Isabella probably did as well.

"Do you remember your friend Raquel Gonzales?"

Isabella's eyes were suddenly distant, lost in memories. "Yes, I remember her."

"She didn't die in that fire."

PONDEROSA 

Raquel leaned against the chair that still sat beside her bed. She'd been shot before and she hadn't sat around all day and all night, why should now be any different?

She managed to get to the door rather smoothly, just with a wince every time she took a step. She didn't fall as she opened the door, so she decided she'd be just fine.

The house appeared empty as she walked into the main room. She'd expected to see Hop Sing, but the small man was nowhere to be found.

Raquel slowly ambled over to the fireplace that was surrounded by several chairs. She liked the Ponderosa. It was comfortable and homey, and despite the more modern appearance, something about it reminded her of her long lost home.

She sat down and sighed. If only she could stay here. _Life would be perfect if I could stay here. No, that's not true. I would ruin life for the Cartwrights if I stayed here._

The front door opened and Hop Sing stepped inside. He was carrying a large pot of water, which he brought over to the fireplace. "You should not be up."

Raquel smiled. "I am fine. I was bored to death sitting in bed all day." She glanced back towards the front door. "Where's Mr. Cartwright?"

"He went to town with boys."

"I see." Raquel frowned. Just why had he gone to town? Was it to rat her out? "What about Carlos? Where is he?"

Hop Sing arranged a few logs in the fireplace to start a blaze. "I not know. His horse gone."

"Hmm." Raquel wasn't worried about what Carlos was doing, but she was worried about what he might do.

Both Raquel and Hop Sing heard horses approaching at a medium pace outside. Hop Sing stood and went to the window. "It's Adam."

"And the second horse?"

"He brought Isabella."

Raquel was on her feet in an instant, and she regretted it. But she hadn't seen Isabella in years, and Isabella had thought she was dead.

Had Adam told her about Raquel's past? Would she turn her back on Raquel?

She hurried to the door despite the pain and negative thoughts and stepped onto the porch.

**­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­**

**Well, I'm going to warn you. There's only one more chapter…and the ending is too abrupt. But I'm sick and tired of working on this. Please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: READ AND REVIEW!**

**Long Lost Lover**

**Chapter Eight**

Isabella smiled at Adam after he helped her down off her horse. She stepped back and looked up as she heard the front door open.

"Isabella!"

"Raquel!"

The two young women ran to each other and embraced. The reuniting was full of exclamations in Spanish, tears of joy, more hugs, and smiles as bright as day.

Raquel ushered her old friend inside so that she could sit down. She explained everything; about the fire, why she left, when she came back the first time, what she'd been doing for the past years, how she'd been wounded, and why she had come back now. Isabella listened happily until she heard the rest of the story about her past running from the law.

"How could you, Raquel? Did you think it would make you happier?" she asked with a slight frown and a few tears in her eyes.

Raquel shook her head and sighed. "It was all anger. I've regretted everything unlawful I've done since the moment I did it. But once I started, I couldn't stop; it was the only way I could live."

Isabella was silent as she pondered this, staring at the floor. Finally she looked up at her again. "What did Carlos say?"

Raquel scoffed. "Not much. It is easy to say he was not happy about it."

Isabella nodded slowly. "What will you do now?"

Raquel frowned and tears came to her eyes. "I do not know. I need to leave, but I don't want to leave without Carlos. But now I fear he doesn't want me." she took a deep breath to steady her voice. "He was so angry, Isabella. I told him the whole story and he never once interrupted. But with every word he looked more and more disappointed. I hated myself as I explained it to him."

Isabella reached out and touched her friend's arm. "He is disappointed. He has reason to be. I cannot say that I am proud of the things you have done, but let me ask you something. Do you want to change?"

Raquel nodded. "More than anything. Seeing you both again has brought back happiness."

"Then change. Prove to Carlos that even though you can't take back what you've done, you can change your future."

Raquel nodded again. "I suppose I can try that."

They both heard the sound of a wagon coming up fast. Isabella went to the window and said over her shoulder, "It's Mr. Cartwright and Little Joe. They look a little worried…"

She was interrupted as Adam jumped onto the porch and shoved the door open. "Pa's got bad news. Little Joe blabbed to Shelby about you and Marshall Collier right in front of Jack Wolf…"

Isabella cut him off. "Oh, no!" she moaned.

"Who is Jack Wolf?" Raquel asked, but her question was lost in the fury of words between Adam and Isabella.

"Is Collier still in town?" Isabella's tone was controlled, but her face held an expression of panic.

"If he's not, he can't be far away. No doubt that Wolf will send someone after him."

"What do we do?"

"I don't know. If he finds her, she won't be the only one she drags off. Pa'll be tried for hiding her."

Isabella ran her hands through her hair. "There's nowhere for her to hide!"

Raquel stepped between the two. "If Collier is coming back, I have to leave."

"No, Raquel, you can't go!" Isabella exclaimed. "Not after all these years, not after I watched Carlos fall apart after you left, please, Raquel, we'll think of something."

Raquel shook her head, but the look on Isabella's face made her sigh. "We'll see."

The three of them looked up as the front door opened again. Ben and Little Joe entered; each wearing a different expression of worry. Joseph's was guilty, and Ben's was slightly annoyed.

Ben pushed his son forward. "Tell Miss Raquel what happened."

"But, pa…"

"Joseph!"

"Yes, pa." He sighed. "Miss Raquel, I'm real sorry…but I told Miss Sterret about you and all, and I knew she could keep a secret…but Mr. Wolf was standin' nearby and I guess he heard every word. I didn't even know he was there 'til he broke in and asked what I meant."

Raquel looked up at Ben. "Mr. Cartwright, if he will send word to Collier, I must leave. I have money…I can buy a horse from you."

"No, no…you're in no condition to travel. We'll…"

"Mr. Cartwright, I once rode a horse for four hours straight with three arrows in my leg. I can do it."

Ben stared at her for a moment, as though debating. Finally he said, "But, you just found your friends, your life, again. Don't you want to stay?"

"More than anything. But I can't if it will put any of you in danger. Please," she added as he opened his mouth to argue. "It's important to me."

He shook his head and was silent for a moment. "Where's Carlos?" he asked and looked around the room.

Raquel glanced toward the window. "He rode off this morning."

Ben sighed. "I won't let you leave until he gets back. I can't do that to him."

Raquel looked down to blink away tears. "Neither could I." she took a deep breath. "But, I must. Perhaps I could return after a while."

Ben shook his head again. "Just wait. We'll think of something."

Raquel fought the urge to groan in frustration. "There is not time to think of something! Every moment we wait is one moment more for Collier to get closer, in one way or another. Please, Mr. Cartwright."

He stared at her again. She prayed he was seeing her point of view. After what seemed like hours, he replied. "Not just yet. If I don't have another solution, I'll give you a horse."

Raquel fought to keep from doing something she'd regret. If Ben Cartwright was so intelligent, why couldn't he see the problem at hand? Before she could argue, Ben turned away.

"Adam, come with me."

"Yes, pa."

The two left the house, and Little Joe went and sat in front of the fireplace. Isabella sighed. "Raquel, what are we going to do?"

Raquel quickly decided that it wasn't a real question, and so she didn't need to answer. She needed to think.

There was nowhere to hide. She'd outsmarted Collier more than once; her luck would run out. She couldn't leave on foot, especially with a gunshot wound. She'd be weak and vulnerable without a horse, and that was a chance she wasn't willing to take.

Everything pointed to what she'd said in the first place. There was only one thing left to do.

PONDEROSA Several hours later… 

Carlos walked his horse into the ranch yard of the Ponderosa and stopped in front of the barn. The sun was setting, and Carlos felt a little guilty and juvenile for shirking out on the chores. However, he'd thought a lot out while on his daylong ride.

He dismounted and patted his horse on the neck. He led the animal into the barn and took his time unsaddling. After he tied the gelding in a stall, he sighed and headed for the house.

It was odd; the entire place was silent. Usually Little Joe would have come out to greet him, or at least ask where he'd been.

Carlos stepped inside the house. Apparently they'd eaten without him, because Hop Sing was just finishing gathering dishes to wash, and everyone else was still sitting at the table.

Isabella was there, and from the look on her face, she wasn't very happy. When she looked at him, Carlos was sure she'd been crying.

If she was there, she knew about Raquel. And if she was upset…

"Where's Raquel?" the question left him barely before he comprehended it.

Ben sighed. "Carlos…"

Isabella interrupted him. "She left, Carlos. Without a word to any of us! She just stole a horse, and left!" she stood abruptly, chair legs scraping across the floor. She stormed passed Carlos and out the front door.

Carlos hardly noticed. "She, left?"

Ben nodded. "I'm sorry. I thought I'd talked her out of it. Marshal Collier found out about her from Jack Wolf…no doubt about it. Little Joe was talking to Shelby, and Wolf overhead him. Raquel insisted that she leave, but I thought she'd decided to listen to me and stay until we thought of something else. I'm sorry, Carlos." He repeated.

Carlos shook his head and his eyes landed on the door to Ben's room. He had to see for himself.

His long stride ate up the distance to the door, and he opened it a mere second later. Sure enough, the bed was made, and the room empty. Again.

_No. Raquel, no! you cannot do this to me again…_He was about to relive the scene of hearing the news about the fire at the rancho when he caught sight of a piece of paper, sticking out from under the pillow.

He snatched at the corner. It was an envelope, with his name on it.

_Dearest Carlos,_

_I am so sorry. For everything. For leaving so many years ago, for not trying harder to find you, for turning away from what is right, and for leaving you yet again. _

_There was no other way. if I stayed, I would be caught, and Mr. Cartwright would have hung right along with me. I could not do that to this family._

_I know you are angry, and you have every right to be. I promise: I will change my ways. Never again will I disappoint you. I'll never steal another horse, crumb of food, or dime. I want to be able to live with myself._

_Carlos, I love you, and I am sorry I hurt you. I will not be caught, and I will not be hung. Please tell Isabella that she is the best friend I will ever have, and that I am sorry for hurting her as well. Thank the Cartwrights, and Hop Sing for their hospitality. _

_Perhaps, one day, I will return._

_Love always,_

_Your Raquelita_

Carlos blinked back tears.

His long-lost lover was lost yet again.

**Okay, yes, that's the end. I'm sorry!! I was just so sick of writing it…it's done!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!! Review!! And tell your friends to read it if you liked it!!**


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